Of Lust, Mandalorians and Cheesy Holovids
by Ricoch3t
Summary: Revan knows it's lust, because she doesn't do love. But, in one of Jolee's ramblings he says that sometimes lust can last a lifetime. Can it? Does it matter? What would a Mandalorian do? Should she quote cheesy holovids? Being in lust is hard.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the games. But wow, what awesome games they are.**

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><p>It was, Revan decided, a tricky business to be in lust.<p>

Sure, she'd been running around the galaxy fighting off Sith. And sure, she'd been a sith. She'd been the kriffing Sith Lord- had the galaxy at her feet and the star forge to make her nice, obedient fighters. She'd had her mind wiped, been betrayed by a bunch of people... including that sith spawn Malak...

Wait- what was her point again?

Right. It was tough being in lust.

And before some idiot came bursting in with some stupid saying that was either filled with 'wisdom' or 'wit', she felt it necessary to admit it as she agonized over the blasters in her hands.

See, Revan hadn't given up the whole ruling the galaxy thing for some old farts who'd tampered with her mind. She hadn't given it up for 'the good of the galaxy' (she was pretty sure she'd make a very good ruler, thank you very much). She hadn't given it up for that whiny brat Bastila... Sure as Force hadn't given it up for HK- the droid was still sulking at her apparent program failure.

Force, when it had turned out that she _hadn't_ taken over as All Round Evil Lord of the Sith the entire crew had sort of gaped at her.

Well, everyone but _him_.

Because he wasn't there.

He'd gone off to sulk somewhere.

Because saving the kriffing galaxy just wasn't good enough for him. Noooooo. He was all scarred and moody and _sexy_... Every time he came into the room Revan had to keep herself from flirting with him like an Academy Recruit. And every time he opened his mouth... Well, sometimes she wanted to punch him for being a self-righteous, judgemental, paranoid nerf-herder. But when he _wasn't_ being a nerf-herder...

Well. She had to use all of her Jedi training to not jump him and do unspeakable things to him...

Ahem.

She _needed_ to get her mind out of the gutter.

So Revan, Dark-Lord-Almighty-of-the-Sith-Turned-Hero-of-the-Republic-(Again), had fallen to this. Giving up her rule of the galaxy for a bad case of lust.

Sith spit.

Which explained her current situation: sitting on her bunk in the Hawk and staring at a pair of intricate pistols she had, ahem, acquired with some proper fire power to them and fixating on whether or not she should go stalk her elusive fly boy.

Because it had been three day cycles since he'd last spoken to her.

He'd apparently holed himself into his room and just thrown Canderous out.

Which was mean! If she'd done that then both Jolee, Bastila and Carth would have started crying "Dark Side!" to the galaxy at large. But when the good little Republic soldier did it it was just because he was having a tough time emotionally.

Force damn it! She'd given up minions for this guy!

Was it too late to take back her decision?

Yeah- the Star Forge had already been destroyed. Kriff. She needed caff. And she needed it now.

With one last sigh she climbed out of her bunk, stashed the pistols under her pillow and headed for the little kitchenette on the Hawk. Unfortunately for her, half of the crew was there eating some meal, and apparently Canderous was losing to Mission at Pazaak.

Mission, of course, immediately spotted her and gave her a million midichlorian smile. "Rev!" She called out the annoying nickname she'd gifted Revan with. "Look at this- I just won a hundred credits from a Mandalorian!"

Canderous growled at her.

"Wait! I thought you wouldn't play against me because you hated losing!" Revan pouted.

"Gleeful exclamation: Master- can I kill them now?" HK-47 squealed from behind her.

"Ugh, sure, fine, whatever. It's not like anyone's going to thank me for saying no..."

"Buh! To see a warrior like you brought so low by love..." Canderous said, face all mashed up in disgust.

"Lust." Revan stated calmly.

"Lust?" Mission asked.

"LUST! That's much better. Ha! I remember this time during the raids that I had the same problem. Couldn't sleep, couldn't pilot my spider properly, could barely eat for the lust consuming my very insides." Canderous thundered.

"Great- what happened?"

"What do you think? I slept with him and then killed him in the afterglow."

"... Him?" Mission asked suspiciously.

"Eh? What! That was just a slip of the tongue! I mean her! What does it matter- the point is: bag him, kill him and then get on with your life. That's the Mandalorian way."

"Hmmmmm..." Revan hummed thoughtfully. "I do like the Mandalorian way..."

"What? Are you insane?" A hand whacked her on the back of her head with so much violence that the front of her head hit the table- hard. "That's not how you go about matters of the heart!" Jolee looked pissed as he sat down with his cup of caff.

"Uh, Jolee, this has nothing to do with my heart..."

"Yes it does! Force, that's how it started out with my wife and I... lust. Then, when we'd sated the lust we realized that it had turned into love... like a graceful Wookie amongst the woods on Kashyyk... like a new sunrise on Manaan..."

"But you said... OW!" Another smack hit Revan.

"Don't second guess your elders girl!"

"Psh! All you old people are dead wrong! The point is that you and Carth are an adorable couple- and you should go get him! You should walk right up to him, say a witty one liner like: 'I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.' and plant one on him!" Mission preached.

"... Mission, you watch _way_ too many holovids." Revan shook her head in despair. "Why won't you leave me alone to wallow in my misery and _lust_." She sighed as she threw her head dramatically onto the cushion of her arms.

"... Ok."

"You youngsters need to learn some mental strength! In my day we didn't _wallow_!"

"Come on you old wookie, let's give her some space."

"Good-bye Master."

Well. That was just kriffing lovely. Usually if she asked them to do anything they just kept meddling and telling confusing stories and quoting cheesy holovids. What kind of people just left you when you were so obviously in distress?

She should have just taken over the Force damned galaxy.

Wait- what? She _had_ done that. And she'd saved it. And now she was moping around here instead of confronting some fly boy (had she mentioned that he was hot? How about his voice?) and damn it all to the Force of she was going to keep torturing herself like this.

She was vicious.

She took what she wanted.

She was gonna get Carth Onassi if it was the last thing she did.

She wasn't going to use Mission's stupid advice either, no. She was going to do this Mandalorian style.

With her mind made up she stood, grinning so maniacally that Bastilla- who had just entered- promptly turned around and practically ran out of the kitchenette.

Withing a few seconds she was outside Carth's door, pounding on it and yelling: "Carth Onassi- you have five seconds to open this door or I'm slicing it! One. Two. Three. Fou-!"

The door hissed open and she found herself face to face with a sleepy, unshaven, _half naked_ Carth.

"What!" He shouted back at her.

"Look, Buddy. I know you have a problem with my past. But you need to get over yourself, because I'm in lust with you and you are going to have sex with me until it disappears!"

Carth blinked stupidly at her a few times before: "Wha-?"

Revan just shut him up with a fierce kiss.

The man was hot, and his voice was lovely, but when he actually talked it just erased all that sex appeal.

RC-KOTOR-RC

Revan stretched luxuriously.

The lights were dim and the door was still locked as she looked around her, before turning her head towards Carth, who was snuggling her like she was a huge ewok toy.

They'd tired each other out... in all the best ways. It was a great feeling. Now she could just get her clothes and...

Wait.

What was that?

That strange twinge of hurt and loss at the thought of leaving?

Oh for sith's sakes'!

Turned out it wasn't just lust.

Turned out, she didn't really mind.

As she kissed Carth awake, she could see the shock in his eyes at still finding her in his arms.

"What? The lust's still there?"

"Hmmmmm... Yes."

"... I guess last night wasn't enough?"

"Looks like it."

"Is that normal?"

"Hm. Jolee said that sometimes it takes years to go away... and sometimes it never does."

Carth grinned as he pinned her to his bunk. "Lucky me."

Revan just laughed.

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><p><strong>AN:** Dedicated to my friend, who asked me for a Revan/Carth romance. It's not a full fic, but hopefully it's something to tide you over while I work on something more substancial.

I'd love to know what you guys think- do you think they're cute? Lousy? Slutty?

Thanks for reading!


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